Just Surrender...

So it’s the beginning of Lent.

Every Lent, for the past approximately 10 years I have always tried to take up something rather than the ‘traditional’ give up something. This something has always been attempting to dig deeper into God and really persevere with a daily quiet time and really listen to God. As always it seems to work well for the 40 days, and then slowly fades over the year till Lent comes round again.

How apt that Nicky Gumbel’s Bible in one year website, which I have been using as my quiet time (on and off!) over the last year, has ‘The Quiet Time’ as the title of the first day of Lent. It goes through Psalm 25, verse 5&7 says: ‘Take me by the hand; Lead me down the paths of truth ... plan only the best for me, God!’ Also Mark 6:30-56 which is the story about the feeding of the five thousand, and brings an aspect I haven’t thought about before. We all know the story of how God provides for the crowd, but what about afterwards? Jesus teaches the disciples the priority of having alone time with Him. They were in the boat after, getting away from the crowd and it describes how the sea was a bit choppy and windy. Jesus gets into the boat and everything calms down:
‘As Jesus climbed into the boat with them, ‘the wind died down’ (v.51). We see a picture of the difference Jesus makes to our lives. It is a real uphill struggle unless we are conscious of Jesus’ presence with us.’

Over the past few months since not long before Christmas I have felt particularly far from God. Now I know this is my doing not His. I know in my heart He is right there, but it doesn’t feel like it sometimes. Last Sunday at church the sermon spoke right to me. I have a CHOICE. Follow, or not to follow. I’m never too brilliant with words and constantly struggle to express how I feel. This is why I love music so much – it tells the world how I feel either with words or just through the sheer beauty of notes combined into chords. It also has the added bonus that if I realise ‘those words are exactly what/how I feel’ I’m not the only one! That’s kind of reassuring! I bought 2 new albums yesterday from a couple of favourite bands (Christian of course!) and here are some lyrics which have captured my heart, and tells the world how I’m feeling:

There’s a me that I don’t really like, a me that says I’m in control till the day that I die, and I don’t know why I push I pull I fight I fall, I end up crawling back to that place where I figure it out that I, that I, that I:
I’m second to one: redeemer, the way, the light. I’m second to one: The Saviour, no compromise. I’m laying everything at the foot of the cross my pride, my life, my all. I am second to one, and He is second to None.
There’s a change when I swallow my pride, and I surrender. There’s a peace when I open my eyes, cos I remember to live is to die, to fall’s to rise, to kneel is to find the Saviour. Here I am and I’ve figured it out tonight, tonight, tonight…
He said “You come alive when you lose your life,” So I lay it down, yeah I surrender all.
NEWSBOYS

Life is hard and I know you're trying; you wear a smile but inside you're crying. When will you admit, you'll never make it on your own. You build the walls up all around you to protect you from the hurt you've been through. I'm the only one who can bring the walls to the ground. Lay down your defences; put your trust in Me.
I can heal your heart, I can comfort you. Don't resist my love, just surrender. I see your scars and I feel your fear, let me rescue you. Just Surrender, Just Surrender.
You keep denying my advances, but you'll never be out of chances. My love will follow you no matter how far you run, let me show you what you can be what it's like to live this life free. Will you take my hand and let me lead you my child?
STARFIELD

Nothing can separate even if I run away, Your love never fails. I know I still make mistakes; You have new mercy for me every day cos Your love never fails.
You stay the same through the ages, Your love never changes. There may be pain in the night but joy comes in the morning. And when the oceans rage, I don’t have to be afraid because I know that You love me, Your love never fails.
The wind is strong and the water’s deep, but I’m not alone here in these open seas cos Your love never fails. The chasm is far too wide I never thought I’d reach the other side, but Your love never fails.
You make all things work together for my good.
NEWSBOYS

You are good; You are good, when there’s nothing good in me. You are love; You are love, on display for all to see. You are light; You are light, when the darkness closes in. You are hope, You are hope, You have covered all my sin. You are peace, You are peace, when my fear is crippling. You are true; You are true, even in my wandering. You are joy, You are joy. You’re the reason that I sing. You are life, You are life, in You death has lost its sting.
Oh, I’m running to Your arms, I’m running to Your arms. The riches of Your love will always be enough. Nothing compares to Your embrace, Light of the world, forever reign.
You are more; You are more, than my words will ever say. You are Lord, You are Lord, all creation will proclaim. You are here, You are here, in Your presence I’m made whole. You are God, You are God, of all else I’m letting go.
My heart will sing, No other name, Jesus, Jesus.
NEWSBOYS

It’s been a whirlwind adventure since deciding in that muddy Welsh field to follow the One true God, and I wouldn’t change it. It’s not over. I’m constantly learning (mostly slowly!) more of God, and I know how AWESOME He is. I need to just surrender to Him.

HOW?!

Just Be Still and KNOW that I am God. I can do all things through you, I AM here. Right beside you. Look and see, I am always here, just be still and KNOW. I have plans, GREAT plans for you. Plans to prosper and NOT to harm, your dreams will come true. I promise. Dry your tears my Child, Oh how I love you, ALWAYS. I am well pleased with you, my daughter.