Do not be anxious

'Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great unsearchable things you do not know.'  Jeremiah 33:3

'Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present you requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.'  Phillipians 4:6-7

How often do we get anxious or worry about stuff?  And does it actually get us anywhere??!  I always find I get more anxious about the thing I'm anxious about when I keep thinking about it!  God promises peace, and as the verse says, we won't necessarily understand it, but it will guard our hearts and minds against the anxiousness eating away at you.  Have you ever had that?  A worry that when you pray to God about it suddenly you are remarkably peaceful, you know whatever it is will still happen, e.g. an interview/exam etc but there is absolute peace.  I've experienced this on occasions, mostly in simple small ways but once in a very dramatic way.

One consultant I worked for at the time (the other 3 were OK with me and thought there were no problems) wanted to fail me and make me retake my first year as a doctor, she thought I wasn't good enough - comparing me to a registrar level rather than a first year.  Unfortunately the head supervisor of the deanery took this consultants side of the story and ignored the other 3 and my previous consultants who had all given me excellent reports and had no concerns (they realised I was a first year, and treated me as one)!  Anyway, the decision was pending - retake the year or pass.....I was distraught, I couldn't think straight, anger and anxiousness was eating me up at the unfairness of it all and the worry of being classed as a failure and not progressing - everybody would know I was a failure.  Finally I couldn't take it any more, and removed myself from the department.  I wondered the hospital corridor to the other end to deliver a script at pharmacy, and on the way back I passed the chapel.  I went in.  No one was there except me.  I was still shaking with anger and worry, on the constant verge of tears.  I sat down and prayed harder than I had ever prayed before.  I cried to God at the unfairness, told Him that I was scared, and couldn't take it any more....I hated her for doing this.  And I heard as clear as day 'BE STILL'.  'KNOW THAT I AM GOD.'  Not like a loud voice spoken aloud or anything but everything in my head stopped, the worry, all my thoughts, and through that stillness came those words.  The ones that had been in and out of my heart for a year or more before since reading Helen Roseveare's book Give Me This Mountain, and the words that continued with me for a few years after, and why this blog is called Be Still And Know!

I didn't understand it but it was awesome, I was no longer shaking and petrified, I was still worried believe me, but I was consumed by it, I could function, and even talk to people without trembling or crying.
God heard my cry, in the most spectacular way.  I passed the year, and even though the certain consultant and overall supervisor said they would write a letter to my next hospital supervisor about the situation so I could be 'supervised more heavily' it was OK.  Oh and by the way the letter they 'wrote', never made it to the next hospital, my new supervisor when I told her about the situation said: 'never got a letter about you, and I like to make my own mind up about juniors anyway, so I would have ignored it!'  WOW!  God certainly answers prayer.

Now when I worry about stuff, or wonder whether God will be faithful in His promises, I remember that answer and KNOW HE IS GOD.