I know I am not but I know I AM!

I guess to start with I'll have to explain this title! It's a play on words which most of you know I generally suck at understanding because I'm a little slow when it comes to knowledge about the english language. I Am is one of the many names God goes by in the Old Testament - remember what He says to Moses when he asks what to say to the Hebrews? 'Tell them I AM sent you.' So, I know I'm not (meaning I'm not able to do everything), but I know I AM (but I know God, and who He is) - cool eh?!

I first learnt this when I went to Soul In The City (London a few years ago was overrun by young Christians for 2 weeks doing social work like running sports/childrens clubs, painting swings, cleanin alleyways and gardens etc). The speaker at our morning meetings explained this phrase and it has slowly been forgotten until this week!

I have been constantly amazed by how much God has blessed me with his presence, comfort, and guidance whilst I have been here. Even yesterday at our weekly bible meeting with everyone in the hospital, God spoke through the visiting pastor like I was the only one there! He spoke about the encourgement God gives us even through the harder times when we feel discouraged, and even mentioned Psalm 91 (see my earlier blog!)

Today was a tad crazy - I got a visa for Mozambique :-) and arranged to go TOMORROW for a week. I have been worrying about having to pay $200 for a temporary residence permit at the end of this month as I'll have been here 3 months on my tourist visa which is the maximum, however in leaving the country then returning next week I can be on a tourist visa again for my remaining 2 months. I wasn't sure yesterday whether I would make it over the border as I had n o plans in place. But I was asked by a friend whether 'I would like to go waterskiing in Mozambique? And by the way we're leaving in 36 hours!' Um OK! SO this morning I got up early went into town after phoning my boss and a fellow junior doctor (who kindly will be doing my Sunday on call) to ask whether I could go and got a visa, everything worked out smoothly and well, Praise God :-)

So tomorrow I go to Mozambique...there are 3 of us travelling in the car tomorrow to get over the border and then stopping the night at friends of the McGraths (the Cowley's), we then meet others and travel to the Mozambique side of Lake Malawi for a weeks worth of camping and watersport - the camp is for kids over 10yrs and I think I'll be helping run the camp with the Cowley's and Phil (who is driving tomorrow). Please pray for safe travelling, energy and strength for those driving and helping run the camp, and that everyine keeps safe and enjoys their time.

That's all for now folks.
p.s. As I'm travelling this week I don't think I'll have any access to phones/email, I'll let you know I'm back on Tuesday! :-)

H xxxxxxxxxxx

Some photos!

Our gang! :-)


At bible study, and the food court (AKA Spices!)

God’s Peace That Passes All Understanding

I simply love that phrase, I always have, every time it is said as a blessing at the end of a service, I smile to myself and feel especially loved by God at that precise moment. Over the past few days I realise God has blessed me with this peace, the type that passes all understanding, or, as I interpret it – a peace that conquers all doubts. The last two Thursday bible studies have been focusing on two Psalms – 107 and 118, and what it is to trust God. We talked in the first study about Psalm 118 and a scenario about the man who tightrope walks across a waterfall (as we are in Africa we said Victoria falls!) and can we believe him when he says he can walk across? ‘Maybe,’ we say, and then he proves it. He then asks whether we believe he can do it pushing a wheelbarrow, and he does it with ease. ‘OK’ he says, ‘do you believe I can push a person across in the wheelbarrow?’ ‘Well yes I think you can’. ‘OK, hop in!’................

What do you do?!

This week we talked about Psalm 107, when the redeemed are in trouble, cry out to God and he will rescue you. I couldn’t help but think about my situation a year and a half ago (was it really that long ago?!) when I was faced with the fact I might not progress to my second year of being a doctor. My clinical supervisor had decided for some reason or another I wasn’t good enough and shouldn’t progress to being an FY2, and that in not signing me off I would have to repeat my FY1 year with heavy supervision. Never mind the fact my other supervisors thought I was a very good junior doctor and had no problems and was competent. Anyway, as the Psalm says – ‘I was at my wits end, so I cried out to God.’ And this is what I did, and He was Good, He blessed me and the situation, and not only did I progress to my second year, My new supervisor after telling her said she had not heard from her predecessor and would make her own mind up about me and whether I was competent or not, thank you very much!! On hearing I was going to have to repeat the year I was at rock bottom, I had nowhere else to turn but to God, so I cried out and He listened. The rest of the study we talked about whether it was easier to trust God in the harder times or the easy times. What I thought was that it was easier in the harder times. I look back at my life and realise when things are easy, I ignore God, we only run to him when things get bad, don’t we? And then things go pear shaped, and then we remember Him, we run to our Dad’s arms for comfort and a solution to our problem. Since a year and a half ago though, I realise I have trusted God much more, although I could still be much better (I think we all can, can’t we?!) I have started to know He is in EVERYTHING, the good and the bad.

These two bible studies have come just when I need them most, and certainly Psalm 107 echoes God’s word to me a few weeks ago (Psalm 91). As we finished the study on Thursday, Noel (a pastor from SA staying for a few weeks) finished with the blessing: ‘God’s peace that passes all understanding,’ it was then I was overwhelmed with His peace. It was indescribable, I knew it was going to be OK, because God said so, end of story. No buts’, or what if’s – It’s OK full stop


I was struck today by how many people were in this world. I was sat at a minibus stop waiting for a bus to Zomba, and was watching all the people go about their business, there were thousands of people, all ages, and I was suddenly struck by the magnitude of people, and God loves each one, WOW! He knows the number of every hair on each of their heads – DOUBLE WOW! And I was reminded of a song written by the band Kutless (an American Christian band):

Sometimes my life it feels so trivial
Immersed in the greatness of space
Yet somehow you still find the time for me
It's then You show me Your love

And In Your eyes I can see
And in Your arms I will be
I am not just a man, vastly lost in this world
Lost in a Sea of Faces
Your body's the bread, Your blood is the wine
Because you traded Your life for mine

How many billions of people are there in the world and God still finds the time for me! AMAZING :-)

‘Whoever is wise, let him heed these things and consider the great love of the Lord.’ Ps 107:43.

I hope you don’t mind my musings on life and God and that there is something there for each of you too. I always seem to find that God speaks through other peoples situations to me and I pray that you find this too, and my musings become a blessing to you. Having said that, I shall quickly tell you what's been happening here since last week:

1. Work – continues in clinics and theatre. Clinics are extremely stuffy and hot in this heat and I feel like falling asleep in them, in theatres however we are blessed with air con.

2. Hollie is returning to UK after 6 weeks as a student here, please pray for her safe travels and that she won’t miss us all too much!

3. Andy (a postgrad student) and Jackie (a pharmacist) have arrived here in the last week, please pray for their quick settling in and that their work here is a blessing to everyone.

4. I went curio shopping over the weekend and bought some really cool wooden souveniers and paintings, and postcards – I promise to try and post some this next week.

5. A new supply of marmite and hot chocolate arrived last Monday – thanks Vic, Tim, and Katie :-) Please pray that the other various parcels that I’m expecting arrive safely.

6. Please pray for my friends Seth, Tim, and Phil who had tyres from their 3 cars stolen on Friday night. (They all live in the same house and somehow the tyres were stolen off the cars whilst they were locked up in their house compound). Praise God that the house wasn’t broken into and their lives weren’t in danger – which could have easily happened, burgleries are commonplace here in Blantyre and there seems to be a spate of them recently.

TTFN

Harriet xxxxx

Melting in the heat!

Hi all :-)

Well I had an awesome weekend cycling around Zomba mountain. There were about 20 of us in the group (not all cycled, some were hiking). We had an early start on Saturday and got to Zomba which is about 70Km from Blantyre at about 10am. Some of us then cycled from halfway up the mountain to the top camp site which took about 2 hours. It was extremely rocky though the gradient of the track wasn't too harsh. My bike however was not at it's best! I had borrowed the very rickety looking mountain bike from the guest house which had 18 gears (after I fixed them up) and a bent steering axle which made the steering very stiff - not good for avoiding rocks! This meant although I had good intentions of cycling up to the camp site I had to walk halfway :-( Anyway I made it despite a few bruises from falling off the bike due to colliding with aforementioned rocks. I can't remember the last time I fell off a bike - no that's not true I remember now: I was about 14 and on my paper round and a bee flew around my face so I took one hand off the handlebars to waft it away, as this attempt failed I took my OTHER hand off which succeeded in getting rid of the bee and also causing me to fall off - DOH!

Anyway after getting to the camp site I met several other people including young families and we went on a hike up to Chingwe's Hole. The myth about this hole at the top of the mountain is that it is so deep it reaches to the bottom of the Shire river (approx 2000m) and a past president of Malawi used to throw his enemies down the hole! I don't know how deep it is but I couldn't hear the stones I threw down there reach the bottom! We had a Braai in the evening and watched out for the rumoured meteor shower (it didn't appear unfortunately). On the Sunday we went for a cycle ride up to Chingwe's hole and then further around the plateau to Queens view (unfortunately very hazy due to the very dry dusty heat), and then continued down back to the hotel where we started Saturdays bike ride. This time I had used one of the extra bikes someone had brought instead of the guest house bike - which was in perfect condition and rode beautifully making it very easy to climb the mountain. I definitely want to cycle around Zomba again, it was beautiful although hot (approx 36 degree heat).

Today in Blantyre we are all melting in the oven - it's in the high 30's! The hospital is extremely stuffy and there is a slight relieving breeze occasionally outside. I'm sitting writing this waiting for my last MORNING patient to have her X-ray (it's now 3pm!) This has happened as when I sent her she was at the back of the queue and when it was her turn it became lunchtime for the x-ray technician, when he returned from lunch there were private patients from the afternoon clinic waiting to be x-rayed. Therefore as she is a poor 2yr old with no money we are treating for free she has to wait until the paying patients are done. This is not hospital policy but apparently 'the way things are done'. It's weird to see the prejudice between rich and poor and even the colour of skin still, it doesn't seem to be intentional but I've noticed in clinics that more explanations are given to those who understand English (and are therefore 'better educated') and to those who are in the private paying clinics. Anyway I better disappear downstairs and see whether the child has had her x-ray yet, then I can get on and book her in for her much needed operation.

TTFN

H xxxxxxxxxxx

Ambassadors for Christ

Today's sermon at church was about being ambassadors for Christ. To spread the word of God with the talents you already have (not to seek those you do not possess) and where you currently are, not striving to be in a place God does not want you. Thank you all so much for your emails and messages of encouragement about my previous blog - God is amazing. I know God has an incredible plan for my life but unfortunately I get so impatient at times and Satan then seizes his chance and does his worst. But as you can see from today's sermon God is continuing to talk to me and encourage me. I am feeling so much more upbeat this past week and have really enjoyed a busy 7 days. Although we didn't have any theatre operations till the Thursday I was still busy with a Monday children's clinic in the morning - the Children come from all over Malawi, and sometimes surrounding countries like Zimbabwe, Zambia, and Mozambique. It still hits me every time I see a new patient the poverty and problems these people endure. It breaks my heart EVERY time and I can't get over how resilient they are.

On Wednesday 6 people from England arrived in 2 Toyota Land Cruisers that had been converted for ambulance use here in Malawi. They had driven all the way here from England through Europe, the middle east and down into Africa which took them 2 months. They had raised the money for the trip and the trucks, and extra for medical equipment to donate to the hospital. The Charity is called AMECA and the lady who runs the charity is also funding the new extension to the private wing being built onto the hospital so we can bring in more money operating on adults so more can be done for the children (who are treated free of charge). It was interesting to see their reactions when shown around the hospital. The private wing here is very much like the English side rooms of the NHS - one or two beds per room with a TV! The children's ward however holds around 60 beds in an open plan huge room and is split into 6 bays of 10 beds each. The guys looking round had tears pouring down their faces whilst walking around the ward. The children were laughing and playing as usual whizzing around in the wheelchairs, on the donated toy trucks, or on the specially designed wooden tricycle that you pedal with your hands (it also has a trailer attached that several patients are towed around in!), even though they have bad deformities of their legs or arms with plaster casts or metal external fixators around various limbs to correct them they still have enormous amounts of fun as children should.

So on Wednesday night I went out for dinner and drinks with the AMECA guys and some people from the hospital to celebrate. Thursday was spent continuing my project here. I'm designing a video on powerpoint to teach student midwives how to recognise common birth defects like cleft lip/palate and clubfoot plus many others so they can refer the patients to get the right treatment early. The main problem in this part of the world is lack of knowledge about these very treatable defects, which means the child grows up without them corrected and faces a lifetime of abuse and rejection. One of CURE's hopes is to teach the relevant people that these deformities can be treated very successfully and the child can live a normal life.

Friday afternoon me and Hollie learnt how to play golf on the 9 hole Blantyre golf course with Aaron, Nathan and Tim (3 of the guys from bible study). It was actually quite fun. We then went back to the McGrath's to help out at youth group (approximately 100 secondary school age kids!) We then went to the food Court (AKA Spices) for fried chicken and chips with ice cream and sodas - very Malawian!! p.s I also thrashed Tim and Martyn at the air hockey in the games room :-) They weren't impressed a girl beat them! We didn't start watching a film Knight and Day till about midnight so went to bed very late. It's weird how out here I've got used to going to bed at the very latest 10pm (which is basically Malawian midnight) NOBODY stays up past this time, so going to bed at 3am was knackering. Yesterday was spent at Aaron's having a Braai (Afrikaans style BBQ), very yummy - steak, hotdogs, and potatoes, washed down with lots of sodas. We also played football and a bit of hockey, and Mario Kart on Nintendo Wii :-) We were all really boiled after running around we jumped in the McGrath's pool to cool off then had coffee and chocolate cake! Today has been much more sedate. We went to the McGrath's church for the first time (previously I've been going to the pentecostal type church which Bianca had introduced me to which is nice but it didn't really feel like home. But the church today was lovely, it very much reminds me of Thorpe Acre back home but on a smaller scale (about half the number). I think I will continue to go there, and I know a lot of people there already from Tuesday and Thursday bible study, whereas at the other church I only knew the few people from work there. I am on call again today as no one else could do it but hopefully that means I won't have to do another Sunday till November :-) It's nothing like NHS on calls anyway - only had to clerk a few patients!

Please continue to pray that God keeps encouraging and speaking through others to me, and also that the various parcels you have all posted get here safely!

H xxxxxxxxxxx